think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
