eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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