So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
