Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
