I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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