I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
