they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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