Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
