We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
