This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
