And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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