Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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