My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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