I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
