Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
