I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
