Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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