I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
