"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
