did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
