She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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