he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
