Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I use my feet as sexual weapons
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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