But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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