he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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