All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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