Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
try to milk me bitch
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
