I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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