So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
