Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
