apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
