If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
