brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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