I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize