too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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