bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
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