Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize