Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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