To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
