No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
