:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
