He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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