I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
