drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
