My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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