am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
