Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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