READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
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