What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Help. Why am I so naked?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
