I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
