Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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