Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
