Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
