may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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