I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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