love makes seman taste better
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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