You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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