drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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