An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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