That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
