Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i will never coherently bang her
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
