I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
