got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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