In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
